It must be acknowledged that not everyone who tells their spouse that they want them to leave, take a break, or pursue a trial separation is telling the whole truth. In fact, many spouses will make these claims because they want to get their spouse ‘s attention or they want to change their spouse. Some spouses will make this claim when they are unsure of their marriage – or if they are unsure. I hope their spouse raises the occasion, fights for marriage, and proves his love. Unfortunately, it doesn’t always react as we expected.
This is what I mean. A wife might say: “I never intended my marriage to be in danger because of this. But I was so angry with my husband at the time. He started dating the group of friends. this I can’t stand.Then he’s drinking and acting like a brotherhood boy.I know he’s trying to fit into his new job and some of the fitting is going out with cow workers.But I married a responsible man who doesn’t acting immature The way my husband is acting now is not the man I married.We had a lot of discussions and even fights about this, so to get his attention, I told him if there were so many he loved his friends, that he should move out and stay with them.He did.will ask me to come home and promised to cut back on his departure, especially with that group of friends.I had hoped, and wanted, that he would fight for me.But he seems to just accept that imid to separate He does not ask me to reconsider. He loves it almost like this and sees it as an opportunity to go out with her even more friends. I am so sad and disappointed. Why wouldn’t he fight for me? Why would he let me go so easily? Doesn’t he love me anymore? “
I don’t think it’s fair or accurate to accept that he doesn’t love you anymore. Everyone responds differently to this type of situation. While you and I may fight in this situation, that is not everyone ‘s answer. And there are plenty of valid reasons that it might act a little more passively. I will list some of them below.
It may not be a Personality to Fight: If you asked me to go and make a public speech about something that is important to me, I would have a very difficult time doing it – despite my passion for the subject. This is true even if I only talk to a small group. There’s a reason I love to write instead of talk. It’s not in my personality just trying to verbally express what I’m thinking. It may not be in your husband’s personality to “fight” for you. Some people are more passive in their actions. This doesn’t mean they don’t feel anything. It just means they are more reluctant to act on their emotions. Or they may act in a less demonstrative way.
He may know what you are doing: Maybe your husband knows full well that you don’t really want separation or divorce. So, knowing this, he feels the need to do nothing but wait. Now I know what you might be thinking: “well, I’ll show him. I can wait for him.” But, that is probably not the best call. You have to ask yourself what you really need. And if you continue with this bluff, you endanger your marriage.
You may not like the method: Your husband may be worried and scared about the state of your marriage. But it may be deceptive that you asked him to leave without discussing it first. Maybe it’s a response to the way you left things rather than the fact that you live apart now.
He could expect to succeed perfectly without fighting it.‘Some people are optimistic who believe that if a relationship is right, things will eventually fall into place. Your husband may be one of these people. He may know that this is likely to work out without him having to do anything because you love each other at the end of the day. For some people, that is all that is needed.
Dealing with Something Else: When people show major changes in behavior, this is sometimes a sign that they are under stress. Maybe he feels a lot of pressure on his job. Sometimes, people will focus on the emphasis that caused the change in behavior in the first place rather than on the fall out of that change in behavior.
Your Choices Moving Forward: You might be wondering where you go from here. Well, you have to ask yourself what you really need. You could try this strategy a little further and see if it matches any realization or if you notice any behavioral changes. Or, you could tell him the truth, which is that you miss him and, while you really want to see him change his social schedule, you never wanted to officially part. Instead, you thought that a breakup could help both of you gain some perspective on how you are approaching your marriage. His answer may tell you more about what he is actually thinking and feeling.
You could try it: “I’m a little disappointed that you didn’t have a stronger response when you were asked to leave and that you didn’t manage to go out all the time. I know it was wrong for me to ask you to move out for you to change.But I wasn’t sure what else to do.I don’t want to part, but I want you to stay more at home.Are there any way we can compromise without living from it together? “
His answer may tell you more than his lack of “fights”. Not everyone has to react the same way. But when you ask him a direct question, his words may tell you more than his current lack of actions.