It took me a long time to come up with the answer to the question “Why Did Boys and Girls Fight?” Eventually, I found inspiration from my past life. When I was 5 years old, my parents fought a lot. When they were young and relatively warm, they would shout at each other at home or in the car. As a child, their fighting scared me. But when I became an adult, I realized that the reason they both fought so hard was because they were doing their best to be understood.
Everyone feels the deep need to be understood – especially by those who are important to them. Because your boyfriend / girlfriend is important to you, you both fight because everyone wants to be understood, but they don’t have the skills to communicate effectively with each other.
But how can I lose my communication skills if I get along well with my friends and / or family members?
Even if you have an awesome relationship with the others in your life, think about this: How long have you known your family? Is your boyfriend / girlfriend your friend or partner? Since your boyfriend / girlfriend comes from different backgrounds, it is inevitable that you will both have different views on things. If the topic in which your views differ never arises, there is no reason for the two of you to fight and disagree. But the longer you know your boyfriend / girlfriend, the more opportunities there will be to disagree.
So when an event comes to the point where the two of you disagree, how do you interact so that you don’t end up fighting?
The easiest way I got together (after years of fighting with my boyfriend and family) is to do my best to get to know the other person first. When I am given the choice to explain myself, or understand my boyfriend, I choose to understand him better. The way I do this, is to read more about men. The reason I choose to understand men better through reading, is because it gives me the results I want: A more loving, harmonious relationship with my boyfriend. Every time I understand more men, not only does my heart open more towards my boyfriend, he also realizes how easy it is to be with me. As a result, he values me and gives me more. This brings joy to both of us.
Don’t forget to ask your boyfriend to explain it to you.
There are two major reasons for this …
1. Most men can’t really explain why they behave the way they do.
2. Most men do not trust you when you ask them to explain their behavior to you.
I used to ask my (old) boys a lot of questions. They hated this and we often ended up fighting. Hence, I highly recommend you read and learn more from relationship experts instead. Avoid asking your boyfriend too many questions as too much fighting often results in a break up.